Crystal & Stone Studio

Country Roads Took Me Home

Nicki LeMarbre
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I thought

I would be staying for years

… but it was the last week in July (just one week before the nonsense that pushed me out of my Cotuit sanctuary) that my Mom, who passed last year, appeared in my dream stating “I want to show you your new home.” In the dream, she walked me through a large room to look out my “new” bedroom window … at what appeared to be … the ocean. (She always had a great sense of humor!) I was confused … why would I be moving? Will I be meeting a new love? I liked the view, but could not imagine why or how I would move!! I woke up before I got any answers.

A few days later a psychic medium friend called to tell me about a dream SHE had about being with me in a basement filled with boxes (which is where I was when she called to tell me about the dream) … “we’ve gotta get outta here!” she had said in the dream. As fate would have it, just two days later, chaos ensued at my apartment and I was saying the same thing. “I've got to get out of here!” Despite the premonitions, I was stunned, and triggered like I’ve never been triggered before by what had transpired. The drama hit me on all levels, every day I was sick to my stomach. I felt attacked, unsafe, degraded and so sad. I was a mess.

Planetary alignments as they were, life kicked my butt but, like so many others this Summer, I got through it. With the help of family and friends I saw past the illusions of fear, made some tough calls by trusting my intuition, said “no thanks” to unwanted treatment from others; I trusted that it was all in the plan and chose to move with life. “Where should I go now, Spirit?” I asked, remaining open to possibilities.

“Maybe I was not meant to plant roots.” I reasoned. Honestly, Cotuit was beautiful but I was feeling pretty isolated. It was great to see some of my old friends but everyone else was so busy. The abundance of alone time that was at first welcome and healing, became unsettling amidst the new drama. I also realized that I had been so happily committed to my work, that I rarely took time to enjoy the ocean nearby! When I wondered if I should go back on the road, the desire to just go “home” took root. I knew that, as it always goes, if it happened easily, going home was the right move.

It did and it is.

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When they heard the news that I was contemplating a move back to Mendon, my nieces searched for and sent me photos of available apartments right away. The very first apartment led me to the my new place. I knew after walking through just half of the apartment that it was the one; a wave of rightness flowed through me. “I’ll take it!” I said to the realtor, an old friend. Effortless.

Like it had been foretold, everything changed; one nauseous month later I did awake to the what sounded like ocean waves out my new bedroom window … it actually was not rolling waves but instead, rolling wheels on a steady stream of cars and trucks rolling by. I was and am so glad to be “home.” Back to the town where I grew up. The storefront where I worked my first job is out one set of windows and the church where I first got married is out the other set. My sister and her family are five and six houses to the right and another niece and her family about ten houses to the left.

Life’s butt kicking continued, but I got better at handling it. September 1st, I had moved and on the 19th a car came out of no where and hit the front end of my sister and brother-in-laws car, which I was driving; alone (to get a FREE bedframe)! Their Subaru spun 90 degrees to the left in one second. I was shaken to my core and very bruised; but, thank God, I was OK.

The car was totaled. Very expensive bedframe after all. I was not at fault in the accident, so everything was covered; but still, it cost all of us time and for me, weeks of pain.

But like the first wave of chaos, the second also provided a “something far better” gift! I had been putting off buying a car since January when the ocean had flooded my Jeep. I am an excellent procrastinator! Nine months of renting and borrowing cars; no big deal! My friend Alisa had zealously insisted numerous times, “do not go to any other car dealer, go to Harbro straight away, they are AMAZING!!” Did I listen? Not really.

I went to FOUR other car dealers with my sister and her husband, as they shopped for a new car. I found nothing but annoyance with the wheeler dealer vibes and was totally exasperated before I finally pulled into Marc Hare’s lot. And there I found the MOST AMAZING car dealership, I am sure, IN THE UNIVERSE! Total integrity (no referral fees here) full of kindness, patience and care. Their website is LovemyCarDealer.com! And I was picky! I test drove a bunch of vehicles and smell tested more. But in less than a week, I drove home in a perfect car for less money and greater ease than I thought possible.

A third wave hit a week after the accident. It was after ten days of awesome cranking on my book … the same book I have been writing in fits and starts for the past 6 years! Yup … I was making great progress, once again, I was on a roll and then, my computer DIES!!! Really?

Sigh. I froze again.

I breathed my way through this too. At first I rationalized" “Maybe it is not time. Maybe I am not supposed to write a book after all.” Then I took a good look at the possibility that my fears were the real culprit of the book blocks. Like ummmm maybe my fear of success? Or ummmmmm fear of not being “good enough”? And weren’t these fears the same perpetrators I had dealt with in the other two situations?! I concluded that the fearless and authentic self writes cuz it just wants to share a story that it loves. The authentic fearless self focuses on what it loves and does not worry about what others think, say or do. The authentic fearless self takes responsibility for creating the dramas with courage, awareness and integrity.

So I am working on that. I am totally loving all that I have been given and have created. I am focused on following the trail laid before me, spiraling deeper into my meditation and energy work. It brings me the greatest joy to help other people create more peace and joy in their lives. I am focused on seeing all the precious gifts that have been given to me . The more we love what we have or do, the more we get of it! The deeper I have moved into it, the more centers are booking my events monthly and are filling up.

I am super excited about 2019. I feel like 2018 was a big year … we lept over some big hurdles and perhaps we got banged up and bruised, but we received some deep big healings through it all. Lots of polishing went on!! And we are shining so much brighter now!!

Can you feel it too?

Wishing Very Happy 2019!!

With Faith, Hope and Love,

Nicki

PS …. If you are wearing one of my larger pendants, please make sure it is on the outside of your seatbelt when you drive! It took a month for my breastbone to heal from the accident. Very painful!